The Excavation Project

Hello, World

2011-12-12T01:36:00.003+11:00

Hi,

Not sure if anyone still checks out this blog. But in case anyone's wondering, Together Called is NOT dead. I do not, and have never had the intention of shutting down this blog, despite my absence in this space.

Things just happened, one after another. Hope to share them eventually one day. Basically, Life* just happened. Both the good, and the very bad.

Today, I was thrown off my high horse and reminded that I am absolutely powerless without God in my Life. I really, really need him. More than ever. And sometimes, I wonder if He'll take me back even if I've strayed but He always does. I guess I find it harder to grasp the concept of Grace, till this day, than most people.

I have a deep aching and heaviness in my heart that's resurfaced. It is one of those things that absolutely leaves me shattered and helpless. The worst thing is that this time around, I can't turn to any of my friends or loved ones, for it is a path that I need to walk myself. I know I shouldn't feel alone, because "God is with me" but I can't help it.

It's really hard to be happy and at peace of the future when nothing's looking bright, not even close. And I'm not talking about work prospects of PR applications. I guess this is where Jesus comes in. I don't know when this will ever end, and I don't want to think about Hope or the future because it's so bleak.

I'm overcome with sadness and I really need my Saviour, please... Just want it all to go away but I know that's not how things work. Anyway, I apologise for the solemn and dreadful tone of this post but I'm very thankful that I have this blog. That I don't need to pretend to smile to anyone or keep a "cheerful" conversation going despite the storm that I'm truly feeling in my heart.

I feel even more sad right now because I know that when I wake up tomorrow, nothing's changed or the situation might have gotten worse, for that matter. Not looking forward to sleep, not looking forward to waking up. Not looking forward to anything.

Hope you're all doing better than me.

Thanks,
Winston.

A jolly festive season indeed!

2011-09-13T01:02:00.005+10:00

Always making full use of a festive season or special occasion to get friends together, tonight is no exception.

And after a night of gorging ourselves silly over a Szechuan meal, before consuming 8 mooncakes while playing lanterns in Carlton Gardens, just wanted to wish everybuddy,

"HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL!!!"

Glad to have spent it with the KK bunch tonight, it's been a while. Hope you never run out of excuses to catch up with old friends, whenever and wherever you are!

Warmest blessings,
Winston.

Stay strong, kid.

2011-09-08T01:20:00.007+10:00

Went in today with my friend to pick up my IELTS results. This would have been the third time I took this exam this year to try and apply for PR. Turns out, I did get the required score... Again.

There's no point thinking about why I keep missing the mark. Because whatever you can think of, I'm sure it's gone through my head more than a thousand times already. My faith was tested once again as I received this news this morning.

It's the age old question, isn't it? "Why should I hold hope when it could lead to bigger disappointment?". But I know better that it really depends on what I hold hope for, and whether or not it's in line with what God has for me. Because the plans I make for myself can be blown away in just a second, but the plans God has for me is as strong and indestructible as a Diamond (recalling a conversation I had with my bro, Chris)

See, I know how to "have faith" in "theory", but a lot of times it's really hard to put it into practice. Anyone know what I'm talking about here? We all know the "textbook" answers to Life* but it's really easier said than done.

Whatever it is, I'm so thankful to my Mum for being my rock. I'm so glad that she is able to understand and comfort me like no one that I know. Thank you, Mum. And she's absolutely right. I really do need learn to let go, and take things as they come.

Because God's plans are not revealed all at once. Faith in God is all about taking it one step at a time, each and every day.

I guess you can say that right now, I'm relearning everything that I've learned about Faith in the past... Again. This cycle never ends, but so what?

Though there are days when I feel defeated, but I know that this is what the Enemy wants me to think. So don't worry, I'll be fine because I KNOW that these thoughts are not from my God, and by His strength, I will prevail.

Hope you're all learning to stay strong no matter what. Seriously.

Love you all,
Winston.

A Silver Lining

2011-08-08T22:18:00.010+10:00

My friends know I'm all about "The Cheese". Sometimes, I'm as Cheesy as Cheesy gets. Nuff said.

You know what they say about, "Behind every cloud is a silver lining". Well, this saying is especially true because I've found mine.

But before I go on to say anything else, I really do wanna express my most sincere gratitude towards my dear friends and family for showing their strength, comfort and consideration towards me last week.

That experience (as per my previous post) was honestly one of the worst things I've had to deal with in a very long time. I'll be even more honest by saying that I don't think I've been THAT sad since my late Grandmother's funeral close to 7 years ago. So glad no one saw me then.

To some of you, I was completely honest. To some, I was really vague. It was just really hard to bring it up again after everything. But things are better now. After some time, I no longer feel any shame or condemnation towards what happened last week and I praise God for it. Some things just takes time...

And I don't know if I've said this before, but there really is no Strength on Earth like the one from Jesus Christ.

So thank you again for everything.

Just a short update on what's happened since then. I've begun to fully accept my circumstances and slowly been able to share and talk to people about it again. And like I said, my Faith Journey should really be titled, "God's Closed Doors" or something.

Because for me, personally, God's grace is almost always shown through shutting numerous doors, before opening different, unexpected and better ones in my life.

For instance, just about the same time as I received that horrible news earlier, I got an email from this Land Surveying/Town Planning firm and was invited to work at their firm as a casual Office Assistant for a coupla weeks. The only reason I was contacted by this firm was because I had met the Director/CEO of this company at an industry even many months ago, who still remembered me very well (which I am so humbled by) since then. I certainly remembered the amazing conversation I had with him but never expected it to be vice versa.

It was so unexpected and I am so happy for this opportunity. I'm not sure what doors it'll open, since it's not even in my field of study. But being able to be in close contact with someone in his position is always amazing I never know what the future holds. So far, I'm just even more humbled by the fact that someone like him would recognise and value me, as an individual, among so many people even though I don't have much to give.

As for the fact that I don't have a job JUST YET, my new option right now is to do a year-long Masters Program next year. Feelin' really good about it, the more I think about it. It's now been able to open up SO many opportunities to do so many things. For instance:

- to get a Masters Degree early on (before I actually start working full-time)
- go back for Summer to see and play with my NEPHEW for the first time (!!!!!!!!!!)
- fly to Kuching for a friend's wedding in Jan (ALWAYS wanted to go!!)
- give my WHOLE family a chance to visit me in Dec 2012 (brother, sis-in-law and nephew included) and have the holiday in Australia we've ALWAYS talked about
- maybe travel after that...?
- and so much more...

Basically, I'm no longer scared of what the Future holds for me. Because I know with all my heart that it is HIS WILL that will prevail above all others, and especially mine.

Life has its ups and downs. But thank God for Friends and Family during the ups and especially the downs.

It probably won't always be smooth sailing from hereon, but let's not forget to take care of one another.

Love you all,
Winston.

Please, God... PLEASE

2011-07-28T23:44:00.031+10:00

Hey, all

Not gonna talk much today because I'm actually quite mentally exhausted and am now getting a headache after the day that I've had. Today, to be brutally honest, was one of the lowest points of my entire uni life.

After 2 months of (im)patiently waiting for my fate, or outcome from the final stage of the Vic Roads interview, I finally received a call from someone within their HR department today. Basically, what happened was that they called to tell me that they were not able to proceed with my application because they said that they never received the Police Check documents that I was meant to send in.

And believe you me, I was utterly shocked to my core. I know myself very well. I was very sure that when they first asked for the docs, I wasted NO time in getting everything I needed. Even double, triple, quadruple checked that I had everything in order and sent it RIGHT AWAY.

About a month later, I received an email reminding me to make sure these documents get sent before the month is over. There was no instructions as to how I was meant to check so I replied to the email, I called the recruitment company, I called Vic Roads HQ, and FINALLY got connected to the HR person that I spoke to in the interview the other day.

I tried to ask her if they had received everything. Cause if not, I would be more than glad to send them again. Unfortunately, I couldn't get through to the number and could only leave a message and send another email regarding my situation. Ever since that day, I never heard back and assumed that everything was okay.

Then things started to get fishy. I neither got an acceptance, nor rejection 2 months down the track when I'm meant to hear back 2 weeks after my interview. Well, that was until I received this phone call today that completely, absolutely shattered my heart.

I had done everything I could. Sent what I needed. Followed up as much as I could. Tried to get hold of every one that I could. But as it turns out, it was neither my fault nor theirs, but the documents simply got lost in the mail.

All my HARD WORK over the years to try and apply for a job in Australia and being SO close has finally boiled down to this. I was in a bit of a whirlwind after that. The person was gracious enough to talk to me as long as I needed over the phone. Because they were just as shocked to find out about what had happened as I was. I let them know I tried everything I could. Was beyond my control. If there's anything I could do now. If it's possible for them to consider me again.

But they regretfully told me that all the offers had been sent out and there's really nothing they could do. And I could tell there was a bit of remorse in his tone as he said it as well. I realised that it wasn't his place, he really didn't need to, but this stranger that I have never met is actually showing me compassion towards my very unfortunate situation. I was very touched by it.

So I thanked him. I asked if I could get some feedback, and he was very kind to advise and also comfort me over what had transpired. I have already expressed all the regret I felt to a stranger who didn't need to, but was willing to listen. I told him that I was very disappointed because I was very hopeful.

And more than that, I told him that I actually really enjoyed the interview process with the two HR reps because there was a lot of great things that was shared, including ideas of being a part of a new team to help improve Vic Roads as an organisation, as well as laughters exchanged in between. All of which, were signs of a very successful interview process, by anyone's standards.

So out of curiosity, I asked him out of the 4,000+ applications they've gotten this year, how many people actually made it to the final stage of the VicRoads interview. He told me 50. This was both crushing and encouraging at the same time.

Encouraging because I beat all the odds of a small Asian kid with no PR to make it ahead of all the people I knew and didn't know. I certainly did not deserve it, but I am humbled by the favour of God in my life. Crushed, because IF the Police Checks were received, I would have stood a very, VERY high chance of getting that dream job. In fact, judging by how everything went smoothly in the interview, I would have no doubt in my mind that that job was mine.

But the truth of the matter is, that by unfortunate luck/fate/coincidence or whatever you wanna call it right now, my documents got lost in the mail. For the first time, there was nothing that I could have done better. I have done everything I could and more. And it was completely unfair.

If only I had gotten this job,
- their in-house lawyer would have personally MADE SURE that I got my PR by the end of the year
- I wouldn't have to sit for IELTS for the 3rd (and counting...) time
- I would have had a secure job even before I finished my degree
- I would have started earning a VERY generous salary
- Would have been granted one year off after my 18 months program (and guaranteed a job upon return) to travel/do anything I wanted
- And finally, would have gotten a full sponsorship to pursue my Masters Degree in the future from VicRoads........................

All of this would have completely changed my life. It would have given my family and so many people hope that despite being a non-PR, it IS still possible to achieve things like PR and a job upon graduation. Something, that many, many people are already struggling with even if they've gotten a PR. I would have so liked to pave the way.

Not for any proud or selfish reason, but because I, too, would have really appreciated to see if someone who is going through the same struggle, and has paved the way through all the hardships and obstacles to come out victorious on the other side of this "PR journey".

After all that, I have come to understand that as much as I wanted to bask in the perks and glory of getting that VicRoads job even before my graduation, it really wasn't for me. Otherwise, how could God allow something so stupid like a parcel getting lost in the mail even happen to something as important as this. Therefore, it really wasn't for me.

As much as I had hoped for my Life to be the story of someone trying hard to get a job and finally got THIS amazing job, it just really wasn't for me. God has other plans for my Life, whether I see it or not right now. Let HIM be the Author of this story, not me.

But I can't help but hear this horrible voice in my head going, "I didn't do anything wrong!!! I don't deserve for this to happen to me!!!"

Right now, as much as I'm struggling with going through the motions of "it's not fair...!!", then back to "you need to trust in God", I really do need to pick the latter. Because, I know that God has opened SO MANY more doors for me after He shut certain doors that I desperately wanted for myself in the past. Lest we forget that.

And just as His Goodness and Faithfulness has shone in my life in the past, He will continue to do so even through this time of pain and hurt. And I know that my whole Life is a testament of his Glory. He has given me so much in the past. And He will continue to shower me with more blessings if I continue to seek first His Kingdom.

Therefore, I need to TRUST. Cause if I didn't have a God to trust in, I really, really wouldn't know how to deal in a time like this. I am so thankful to have God in my Life. And so many friends and family who never failed to support and encourage me every step of the way.

My life is shattered by this news, I won't lie. And I don't want to lie about my true feelings on this blog. But it's because of this state of Brokenness that today I got to feel the Goodness of God in my Life more strongly than I have ever done before with a friend. Right now, God sees my pain, and struggle to go through this entire meeting PR requirements and job hunting process.

But by His strength, I will prevail. Even if it means starting from Square One. So hopefully some weeks or months from now, I am able to recover from this and possibly laugh at the irony of it all?

But right now, I'll be honest to say that I really do need a bit of time... Today was a sad, sad day. I don't want to talk about this to anyone for a while after today. I just want to work through it with my Saviour, Jesus Christ for now. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayer.

Love you all,
Winston.

Hello...!!!

2011-07-04T04:01:00.007+10:00

Howdy, folks! How are y'all doin' ta-day...???

Just wanted to give a quick update on how things are post-exam/end of semester. As you might have figured out already, coping with Final Year of uni was not like what I had imagined it to be.

Though there are times where I really wished I had dealt with things better, or had been a bit stronger through the tough times, I know there's nothing I can do about it right now, but learn from it.

And as I'm going into my final SEMESTER of this degree, I am going to try my very, very best to handle whatever situations I'm giving a little bit better, and not lose sight of my identity and what's important through it all. I also really hope to look past whatever hardships I think I will face and still show compassion to those around me. That is the hope, at least.

So ever since I FINALLY ended the semester, I have been partyin' and having the most AMAZING time every single day, from morning to night, literally. I seriously took my new found freedom to a whole new level. "We so excited... Yeah, we so excited..."

And halfway during the dinner on the day I finished my exams, I actually had an epiphany. I was looking round the table to see the faces of all my beloved coursemates, and I couldn't help but think, "I really AM in the BEST place in my Life right now".

I say this because as I was looking across the room, I couldn't help but notice the presence of the most amazing bunch of people who helped me through uni each and every day. On top of that, we just had an amazing day celebrating the end of exams and then we were all dressed up, at a fancy restaurant celebrating the 21st of one amazing person in our group. There's just too many things to celebrate. Now you tell me, can Life get any better than that...?

It was a simple, realisation. Or actually, a reminder that I am truly blessed with so many things in this Life. But what really matters is the Friends that I have. And my Family to be thankful for. Why couldn't I have remembered all of this instead of being such a whiny, over-complaining brat throughout semester. Sigh... Moving on.

Another thing that made Life VERY different for me this semester was that I had been living with 2 housemates the past 6 months... But not just with any 2 random strangers, but 2 people I've really gotten to know the past few years I was in Melbourne, which is awesome.

Though to be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect of it because I was SO used to living on my own last year, so having two people share my home would definitely have required a readjustment on both me and the two brothers's parts. But after a whole semester of living together, I can surely say now that "It was GOOOD..."

I think the 3 of us really saw eye to eye in a lot of things, "household-living-condition-wise", so that was easy. So beyond that, it was really just the amount of time spent together in the house, which I appreciated.

Cause to be very frank, I did not REALLY know the elder brother, Kel, as personally as I do now, believe it or not. Before this, I did hang out a lot with him cause we both shared the same circle of friends in Church. But honestly, have not had any honest, open, or personal conversation with him. Because of that, I was always closer to every one else in the group but not very much to him, until this year. Living together really opened that space for us to share lives as friends in a way that hadn't been done before, which was awesome.

I still remember having this long and honest conversation with him right after we got back from Easter Camp. A lot was said that night but at the end of it, I can honestly tell you that our friendship did grow. And now, Kel has actually become a really close friend of mine. He knows he can always count on me and vice versa, which is amazeballs...

Unlike his elder brother, I am very proud to say that Juls has really become one of my closest friends in Melbourne the past two years. So staying with him as well was quite good, really. The only difference between living together and not was that before, if we had something to tell each other or just wanted to talk about something, we had to wait until we've set a time to meet up later on.

So you can say that living together made it more "convenient" to be there for one another as friends, literally. And before this, I thought I knew this guy really well already. But it wasn't until after spending all that time with him, that I realised that he really, really, is becoming more and more into a Man of God each day. He's really grown SO much and I know that even though it's not my place (because it's not like I'm much older or wiser or whatever), but I can't help but still feel so proud of him. He's not a human "doing", but a human "BEING".

So anyway, I really had a great first semester, despite what it may seem at times. And I really have these two guys to thank for. It's been fun, and I'm glad that our lives did cross for this short period of time. Looking forward to what's ahead for the next chapter of each of our lives!

Praise be to God. Now, and forever.

Much Love,
Winston =)

The Largeness of Life*

2011-06-12T16:48:00.002+10:00

Haven't been to Life* Expedition the past 3 weeks must say it was REALLY good to be back. For the past two weeks, I can't tell you how BADLY I want to be out of my uni life.

I feel like I'm so done with this chapter and more than ready to start on the next. Seriously, it's almost all I've been thinking about the past two weeks non-stop.

And I know exactly why. It can be boiled down to two specific thoughts that's been on my mind:

1) Waiting to hear back from the final stage of a job interview
2) Studying for my exams

Seriously, I've been at the edge of my feet ALL DAY for the past 2 weeks just waiting for a phone call that may or may not come anytime. And it's mentally tiring, cause I can't focus on anything.

And on top of that, studying for this semester's exam is so much harder than any that I've had to study for in the past. Expected, since it's my final year of uni. The level of difficulty is so discouraging and I can't seem to shake off the anxiety from waiting to hear back from the job at the back of my mind.

This is why I can't wait to get out uni so badly. End this chapter and start a new one, please.

So being in Church today really, REALLY helped. Everyone's testimonials were different but so similar in so many ways. And I identified with it a lot. It was like God was speaking to me, through them. What a blessing.

I guess right now, I'm really learning to let go of my anxieties on these two thoughts. And just turn back my gaze to my Creator. This Infinite God that I've learned to Love and Worship over and over again.

Life the past two weeks have been such a drab, and I really hope I can zoom out, look past these two minor, trivial areas of my life and just marvel at the Largeness of Life* around me once again. Can't let this get me down anymore, because it's really beyond my control. And I should find peace, and not fear in that for my God is ever Faithful, no matter what.

So I'll leave you today with this passage that I heard this morning. And I truly hope that it speaks to you as you go through whatever you're facing in this season of your Life right now, cause it certainly did for me.

Matthew 6 (NIV):

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Wishing all of you with exams/job applications the best in all that you do. Take care of yourselves and of one another.

Much Love,
Winston.

Suffering(s)

2011-05-11T00:10:00.005+10:00

The past two months, our Housechurch has been going through the Book of Job. You know, the one where God made a deal with the devil, to see if a blameless man can still be able to praise God when all his bountiful blessings has been stripped away from him.

Because of that, our discussions has mainly been centred around the topic of "suffering". So glad that we had a space to "go there" and talk about it as in depth and freely as we want.

Basically, there's too much that we talked about for me to share. There were times when we were stuck. But most of the time, it was pure GOLD.

And I'm glad that tonight we got to film some of what we said (for this Sunday's service), so I guess that allowed us to capture some of what happened in this week's episode.

Which got me thinking. We all choose to go through sufferings, because of something that we pursue. In other words, a hope that we subscribe to.

Then to put things into perspective of what I'm going through at work, I believe it's because I carry a hope that's why I'm still there. And choose to go through what I go through each week.

And I'm sure of it because I'll be damned if I'm suffering for nothing, and it's all just meaningless. I believe there is a purpose that I once found and have yet to find in there again.

So no more lying in a pit of sadness and depression. Because now, I am able to comprehend the situation of what I'm going through a little better.

And the difference is that now, I carry HOPE. I sincerely hope you all embrace the challenges you face wherever you are =)

Much Love,
Winston.

Update: Life as a part time McDonalds crew

2011-05-10T17:29:00.000+10:00

So, a coupla nights ago I hit a really rough patch with work. I feel like working at McDonalds has already taught me a lot and built me up to have a high tolerance for almost anything. But on Saturday night, I was seriously on the verge.

I was so close to throwing in the towel half way during my shift and just walking out and quit. I've never had thoughts that were anywhere close to this. I couldn't take it anymore. But it was bad. Definitely the worst. And I've had LOTS of bad shifts before in the past. It was a tough night for everyone anyway, including my manager.

Basically what happened was that at the thick of my feelings of hopelessness and anger, my other friend (whom I just met) turned to me and said that it was actually his best shift so far. I'm like, "What?!". He said this because despite the fact that everything was falling apart, he felt like our teamwork had never been any stronger.

He was absolutely right.

That hit me really hard that. This is the reason why I'm still there today, despite all my woes and hardships. The friendships I made from this job is absolutely priceless and indescribable. We have learned to work/laugh/play with one another but more than that, grow over the years. No one will fully understand the things that we go through together each night, except the few of us.

And that's why if you ask anyone, work used to be something I seriously looked forward to so much each week, and even enjoyed every minute of when I'm there. That's cause every shift I was working well and hard with all my mates from work. We were an unbeatable team. But things started to take a turn when more than half of my friends resigned from Maccas because they found better jobs somewhere else.

To cut the long story short, lack of good team members on top of the stress of uni in a high pressured environment of a fast food restaurant, can really tip someone off the edge.

There were good times. Lots of sentiments of working in Freshwater McDonalds every since my second week of arriving in Australia. It's been a huge part of my formative life in Melbourne since the very start.

But now, circumstances are different. It's not about me thinking of jumping off a sinking ship. But I guess the plan is to just suck it up, and finish off 3 more weeks of work, before going on a hiatus to focus on exams before flying back to Malaysia for a month.

But when I'm back, I really need to know if any of this is still worth it if things don't change. Especially cause it will be my very last semester of uni. And that is more important to me than anything. But of course, I will definitely be wise about my decision and not rule anything out first. That's for later on, not sure what's gonna happen.

It's a huge thing to think about, but not for now. And I will leave it all up to God. Because I know more than anything that He knows me best. And will guide me to do whatever He thinks is right.

Oh and on a slightly different note. I just received news today that I've made it through to the next round of interview for this Grad position that I applied for. Extremely ecstatic but honestly for some reason, I feel more scared about being disappointed about the outcome each time I advance into the next stage of this process.

But this is something that I am committing to God and am going to work through with Jesus. I really, really, don't know how my future looks at this point. In terms of what next semester will look like for me. Whether I'll still be at Maccas. And then whether or not I'm going to have a job or where when I graduate.

All a huge muck of grey and uncertainty right now. But no matter what season that I'm in in Life, I will still praise that my God is good. And that He is faithful. Now and forever.

So let it be,

Winston.

Yerp, Sleep is Good.

2011-05-01T02:17:00.003+10:00

Just a random thought, but I really think that Sleep is one of the best things ever to be introduced by God.

Not just cause it gives us rest (which is always awesome), but also because each time that we open our eyes to wake up in the morning, it's another blessed opportunity for us to hit the restart button in our lives.

It's a reminder for us to leave whatever hurt, baggage or disappointments behind us and look forward to a new day, a fresh breath of Life*.

For, "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is yet to come. And today begins the FIRST Day of the rest of my Life."

Make sure you give thanks to God and hit the reset button in your life every morning!

That is all... Bye.

Thank You, Jesus

2011-04-30T01:24:00.007+10:00

It hit me the other day that there are times when I get so frustrated because I do feel like I really don't know Jesus Christ at all.

I don't know what He looks like and can't even recognise His voice.

But even though there are times when I don't see or hear Him as much as I would like, I know for a FACT that Jesus was ALWAYS there right beside me at my lowest of lows, when I needed Him the most.

I've witnessed and observed so much of what has happened around me recently. It's really made me realise that more than ever, we humans are actually really, really, broken people.

And we tend to go to great lengths to get ourselves out of these situations by trying different things, or listening to different people. Unfortunately, often from the wrong sources. And we end up creating bigger messes for ourselves and others than we had to begin with.

So what is it, then? I have a that hunch it's because no matter how much we rely on the things, people and knowledge of the world, Jesus is still THE way.

He is the Way, the Truth and the Life*.

I believe that no matter what we go through in this Life, Jesus is the ONLY way through which we can be saved.

I really am glad that I'm slowly learning to know who Jesus Christ is in my life again. Can't wait to be filled even more.

Life is Good. Do take care of the people around you.

Much Love,
Winston.

I choose: Life*

2011-04-26T22:59:00.005+10:00

Spent two nights trying to write up this post and after looking at the final draft, I realised that there were still a lot of negativity and darkness in the things that I wrote.

In the end, it was just too much, I thought. So I decided to scrap all of it. This blog has seen too much of thoughts with sadness or death for too long, seriously. It's time for me to hit the restart button and begin a new life starting today. Because if I don't hold hope now, I know that I really am going to die.

But that's really okay, because "faith not challenged is not faith at all".

Though I don't know how I'm going to get out of this spiritual depression or where to go from here, I'll just take it the only way I know how to -- that is one step at a time.

This is why I choose to start by believing that Jesus will save me. That alone is the hope I choose to carry. And how can something like that bring nothing but Life*.

Besides that, I really just want to apply what I've learned and taken away from the camp in as many areas of my life as I can.

Which is to:

1. ENGAGE

- the world, its people and situations in Life and not just live aimlessly by going through the motions

2. EMBRACE

- by actively showing the same LOVE of Christ that died for me to every person and situation in Life

3. EMPOWER

- every person that I come across by reminding them that they have so much more in them and they are created to be EXTRA ordinary people

Because I believe with all my heart that every single choice I make can steer me into the direction to be an EXTRA ordinary person for God. We've got enough normal and ordinary people around already anyway.

What this world really needs now is more people who understand the very will and heart of God. I choose to fall in that category. No way am I going to continue to live this life being known as just another guy.

So please don't worry about me because I'm being completely honest when I say that I am fine. Every one goes through phases and I believe that what I'm going through too will only be for a season.

After all, life is hard as it is. But at the end of the day, one can only Hope, right???? My Jesus will come and rescue me. So let it be.

Amen.

Jesus Christ and Me

2011-04-22T03:21:00.003+10:00

I feel that more than ever, there is a NEED for me to know and understand with all of my heart what the RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST is really about.

Lots have been going through my mind lately, not ready to talk to anyone about it. And I don't think anyone will really understand what I'm going through anyway. Feel like it's something I have to venture on my own. For now, at least. But worry not, I believe this time alone will be time well spent reacquainting with my beloved God the Father.

Gonna leave for Easter camp tomorrow for 3 days and 2 nights. I really look forward to rediscovering who Winston Chua is and my (long lost) relationship with Jesus Christ. Things have sort of been spiralling too out of control.

Thus, a catch up with my "bro" is in order. Because I'm serious when I say, "I really don't know who I am anymore".

See you all on the flip side.

Much Love,
Winston.

Final Year Engineering Student

2011-03-22T23:38:00.012+11:00

(NB: Rant ahead with a lot of piled up thoughts off the top of my head)
Just got back from House Church. Went through the Book of Job and talked about the topic of "Suffering". We know that there's all these suffering going on in the world today like the recent Tsunami in Japan, Earthquake in Christchurch, Flood in Queensland and so on. But what does suffering look like in our own lives today?

Went in a circle to share with every one what we think we're "suffering" from today. When it got to my turn, the first thing that came to my mind was "stress". I know that being in my Final Year, doing Engineering, at Melbourne University wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't realise how dark and deep into the suffering I really was until I said it out loud just now.

Basically with each passing day, I feel more and more like a failure. I really do. There's just so much that I need to get done, want to achieve, but simply can't. And it seems like I always seem to be dwelling in yesterday's failure. I'm not as happy as I would really like to be.

I'm suffering from so much stress. Firstly from the piles of uni work that I have yet to catch up on. I am so behind, that I don't know what's going on anymore. Going to each lecture everyday, I feel so overwhelmed with it that I really feel like giving up and going home.

Then there's my part-time work at McDonalds. Our store is going through some stuff and I sort of have no choice but to work way more than I usually do. Approximately 4 days a week. I've tried many times to reduce my shift and I just can't. Till the point I dread looking at my roster each week, unlike before. And that's 4 nights a week that I can't do anything else already cause it's gone to work. That's too much.

Then the other thing is my PR status. I feel so happy, yet sometimes envious that most of my friends are born into a family with PR status whereas me and some of my friends need to work hard for it ourselves. Damn. But then again, I can't think like that because I too, am born into a family fortunate enough to send me overseas.

Basically, I'm struggling to get all the points I need to get my PR even though I'll be graduating as an Engineer. Things aren't as easy anymore, I don't know anyone in my position who's gotten anywhere just like me cause the requirements seem so absurd. But yeah, I'm finding it hard to let go and have peace with this matter every single day that I don't have the points I need. Which is now until God knows when.

Then last but not least, I am now part of a group of thousands of Civil Engineers who are sending out graduate job applications to firm after firms. The competition is so tough and every one, including your friends are fighting for the same position. Been spending so much time writing cover letters, sending out applications to companies that may or most likely may not even look at my application cause of my status as an International student. It's frustrating, really. And it's because of the job applications and my part-time work that my studies has taken a back seat in the meantime.

I guess that at the end of the day, my exasperation boils down to the fact that each day I don't have my future sorted out. I don't like that nothing is going my way. Nothing. And I know how immature that sounds, but this time of uncertainty really speaks something about my Faith. And the Trust in my Creator? Where is it? Where has it gone? All those things that I've learned over the years. I still remember the time I've had to deal with something similar last year when I talked about "The Real Evil".

I'm glad for tonight's wake up call. Cause now that I've said it out. I see the hill that I have to climb on this journey more clearly now. I am really praying for clarity and more importantly, peace with all these matters. And I would really appreciate it if you could pray for me too.

Hope to update you guys with more cheerful things like my unforgettable 21st birthday sometime soon. Take good care, all.

Much Love,

Winston.

Summer of 2010/11

2011-02-22T01:30:00.007+11:00

Hey guys,

Writing this as I'm waiting to board the plane from KL to Melbourne at the departure hall. Just wanna say that it truly has been one of the best summers I've had yet. Starting with my 5 weeks exchange programme to NUS at Singapore, before going back to KK for 10 days and now, back to Melbourne once again.

The Singapore experience was more than what I hoped for. I knew it was going to be good. Going to do a subject there with friends, visiting some long lost family during CNY, but I never expected all of it to be MUCH better than expected.

I know now with all my heart that I was meant to go to Singapore and not take an Engineering job this Summer. It was planned, it was destined. And because of that, I am grateful.

I guess the best thing about the Summer Exchange was definitely spending time, getting to know and having a BLAST each day with all my uni coursemates. And these are people that I have either seen/haven't seen around at lectures, from different circles and would otherwise NEVER have had a chance to know.

It was awesome. We're all so different, but yet we're striving for the same thing and having a wicked time while we're at it. And because of that, I now have a few more really really good buddies that I look forward to seeing around campus this year.

I don't know how else to explain it, but you have to be there with us each day to really know what I mean. I left the program with so many new friends (in real life and on Facebook lol) and I can't wait to see those faces again.

Another thing that made the whole experience so much more enriching was getting runner up for the Best Presenter Award on the last day. It may be a small and insignificant award to most people but I'm sooo happy to get recognised in that way. What a nice icing on the cake.

But that's not why I think it was meant to be for me to come to Singapore this holiday. As I soon found out later on during Chinese New Year, it had FINALLY allowed my family to reunite with other relatives from Dad's side of the family.

Cause let me tell you one thing, the Chua clan has never really been brought up with close family "values". It's all so complicated and I guess cause of that, some siblings grew more distant from others.

But CNY is really important to every Chinese family. A time to put aside differences and past to come together at least once a year. And that's what happened. What a blessing to have my family fly over there to not leave me alone and spend CNY with me at Singapore.

Got to meet SO many relatives that I haven't met for more than 10 yrs, and even more that I haven't met before! It was a complete joy to get to talk to them and know them as if we are new friends when we really are FAMILY.

Very happy to see Dad reunite with various siblings and relatives that he hasn't seen in years. A very, very blessed CNY for the my family indeed. And even though a lot of the members from the Chua Clan (Dad has 11 other siblings, almost all of them grandparents now) weren't in Singapore, they were all remembered. Especially my late Grandfather that I never got to meet.

But it was SO fantastic to hear so many stories about him. Some from my parents, aunts, uncles. But best of all was from my eldest cousin, who's the first grandson in the Chua clan (him, being 46 and me, 21).

Hearing all the stories of how Ah Gong would take care of him as a kid and also how he and his Dad came to Christ was really unforgettable. What was surprising was Dad (who has told us many times growing up that he doesn't want to be Christian) was actually really fascinated by his story!

In fact after that, Dad actually said after that that the only reason he will ever come to know Christ is if one day, Jesus reveals Himself to him. You see, Dad's just like most people who choose to believe things with his EYES. And I don't blame him, or anyone else who find it hard to have faith for that matter.

It was then, when God instilled in me a hope that He will come into Dad's life one fine day. One... Fine... Day. This is a beautiful thought. Dad's never accepted Christ but I'm not giving up on him yet!!

And I truly hope that you guys don't give up hope on the people around you, too.

And THAT is why I know I was meant to go to Singapore, for the Chua family to get closer with one another and for me to hear those words from Dad. So ecstatic!

So finally after that, I got to come home to my beautiful town (yes, town. Not really a village, but not quite a city), Kota Kinabalu. This trip was short and sweet. Decided to only meet up with close friends and got to spend heaps of time with my family which is awesome. Each day is awesome.

But now, my short stint in KK is over and am on my way back to Melbourne for my FINAL YEAR (zomg) at UNI!! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh… Going back to that and oh, my 21st Birthday. Heeeeeee… Have got some friends flying in from interstate and so many more who changed their air ticket JUST to make it in time for that so I am excited. Double Heeeeee…

So, yeah. That pretty much wraps up my Summer of 2010/11. It went by so fast, but I'm glad I can use this chance to reminisce and pen it down so that I can always look back to the time when God taught me to not just pray for the right doors to open, but also for the right doors to close.

Here's to a fan-friggin-tastic year ahead for you, me and our families! So let it be.

Warmest blessings to all,

Winston

12:00pm, 20th February 2011

Looking back on 2010 (like you didn't know that this was coming)

2011-01-04T00:43:00.027+11:00

Hey kids,

I'm doing a quick blog post now cause I'm leaving for Singapore tomorrow to do an exchange over Summer for a month. Let's just say that at this point, I'm like crazy excited. I didn't get a chance to share it here, but the long winding round that started off from profusely trying to apply for Vac Work (which was a wrong and selfish ambition on its own) that has finally led me to this Exchange opportunity to NUS is a journey in itself.

I mean, after sending in my application and getting the offer, I was overjoyed. Because this is something that I truly wanted, way way more than Vac Work cause it meant I could reduce my load on the last semester of my final year and also open up the possibility for me to go on a graduation trip (SOMEWHERE AWESOME!!) with my coursemates after we graduate from our ridiculously overworked course next year!!! What's more is I'll be doing this Exchange with two really awesome Eng buddies. I can't wait.

What a great way to end a whole year of trial and faith with this wonderful opportunity to Singapore. And if I could share with anyone the biggest lesson that I've learned in 2010, is that as people of Faith, "Don't just pray to God for the right doors to open, but the right doors to close." Wise, wise words that I take to heart dearly as given to me to my mentor and friend, Josh.

That, folks, is how I would sum up my year long journey of Vac Work -> Summer Exchange. PHEWWW. Now I'm so thankful to God for the path He's led me on, seriously. And I'm not sure if I've shared this here before, but I once learned that "you know that something is from God when it grants you true peace".

"I will listen to what God the LORD says;
he promises PEACE to his people, his faithful servants—
but let them not turn to folly."

- Psalms 85:8

And that is exactly how I feel about this whole thing. No more uncertainty, doubt or restlessness at the back of my mind. Just simple peace. Through it all, I've learned so much about myself, what I want and how I choose to represent Christ in the present as well as the Future. And I truly hope that this message will speak to whoever who may feel this way or go through something similar in terms of career ambitions in the future.

Ahhh... What a busy year it's been. Like seriously busy. My gawd, just thinking about how hectic it was makes me quiver. So basically, the following 3 things can pretty sum up what I've spent 90% of my time awake doing:

1. EWB

- Taken up a role as President of the Melbourne Uni Chapter of Engineers Without Borders. MUCH more challenging than I ever imagined.

2. Uni Work

- Doing a 3rd Year Engineer Course at Melb Uni really did hit every single one of us hard. Boy oh boy did we learn the meaning of deadlines or what.

3. McDonalds Work

- Upped my game at work this year to hopefully get recognised for my efforts and dedication

And I'll admit that because I have overly committed myself this year, it has had an affect on my "Church Life". For the first time, I would be so physically and mentally tired from working a shift or rushing an assignment on a Saturday night that I really would not be able to hear my alarm go off at all. I would go into deep sleep and always wake up so shocked that I missed Church again!! The feeling of guilt is SO heavy and I always feel so unhappy afterwards. Sigh.

Besides not being able to wake up for church, spending so much time on all these things also left little or close to no time for my other friends in community or anywhere else. I've missed so many casual catchups or social outings that I almost feel like I'm not connected anymore. But thankfully even though I can't be there for all the people as I did before, I was still able to share my life closely with a handful of people which means the world to me.

So even though I was so worn out to the core by all of these, more so than I have ever been in my life, let's just say that everything paid off.

For instance at EWB, this new role and responsibility it involves has really taught me SO much about working alongside other people, communication, organisation and planning, vision and goals and most importantly, Leadership. I don't know how to tell you how much this experience has changed me as a person and I truly felt God showing me a glimpse of the person He wants me to be as I enter into the Engineering Industry in the future.

And even though all my coursemates and I agreed that this was the most suffering year by FAR, we all had a blast. Seriously, it's so ironic and I only have God to thank. Cause even though there are days we were almost in tears from the workload, it was still great cause we did everything TOGETHER.

In happy times, we rejoiced together. In trying times, we forged on as a team. It was fantastic, every one has gotten so close that the other day my friend S was just sharing that it's come to a point that she considers us as some of her "best friends for life". I don't know how to tell you about how much I feel the same way about each and every one of these guys. I am truly blessed. Shucks.

Moving on... As I mentioned in my previous post already, this year I have chosen to increase the number of shifts at work to hopefully get Employee of the Month, and I did. I was and still am, overjoyed by this. It goes to show that at the end of the day, you need to work hard to achieve your dreams. God doesn't believe in laziness or sloth.

So... Yeah.... I've done too much in the past year, but that's about to change. For 2011, I have already decided that I'm going to do what I can to step back from all my extra-curricular commitments and just go back to a simpler time. One where I would stay at home a lot, and have time to focus on my studies and catch up with friends whenever I could.

Besides my uni work and casual shifts, I don't want to do anything else. I find that there's no need to overwork myself like I did before. I want to be able to relax and enjoy my final year at uni, even if it means that I will lead a more "boring" lifestyle. Heck, I couldn't give a crap. Uni work and friends alone is enough to fill my plate. I want to be one of those people who are constantly at home taking it easy. And doing the Summer Exchange to reduce my load would definitely be a great help in that direction.

With these free time, I hope to be able to be up to speed with my studies, invest more time in my hobby for cooking as well as food photography and blogging, and get more involved with my Housechurch and community once again. If I could do all of these in 2011, I would be a happy, happy person.

Another thing I wanna add is that in the coming year, I will be focusing a lot on "Communication". I won't go into the real reason why, but let's just say that there was a breakthrough for me 2 nights ago. And it only happened because an open and honest conversation took place. This is something that I have always believed in and I plan to be practise this more in the coming year, because I believe in how much Life* it will bring. I want to improve communication with friends, family and MOST importantly, God.

So before I end... I'm just going to start a tradition here on The Excavation Project where I shall sum up and highlight the awesome events that's happened to me in every year. Just as I did for 2009, I shall do it again for 2010. Here we go~!

1. Bro got married!

2. Shot a 70's themed promo video with friends

3. Conquered an insane 50km run with these awesome bunch of boys

4. Traveled to Perth with friends and had one of my BEST trip yet!

5.Went skydiving while being filmed which resulted in the most-embarrassing-video-of-me-you-will-ever-SEE!

6. Conquered real rock climbing outdoors foahhhh

7. Finally got to go sandboarding (on a real big ass dune!) woooooooot

8. Had our (long anticipated) Masterchef Potluck

9. Blessed to journey closely with some of the most remarkable people, especially these two woot!

10. Entered into a mentoring relationship the awesome Josh. This guy has been a great drive and help in my Walk this year, seriously.

11. FINALLY went to a U2 Concert, one of my favourite bands of all time waaahhh!!!!!

12. Lastly, got to spend quality time over Christmas and New Year's this Summer with my awesome family...

... and friends...

2010 was one helluva year, but I know that 2011 is only going to get better. Final Year at Uni?? LET'S DO IT, WOOOOOOT!!!!

Hope that the New Year has treated you mighty fine so far, looking forward to speak with you guys again from Singapore and Malaysia!!

With Love,

Winston.

Perseverance does pay off

2010-11-27T21:34:00.007+11:00

Hey guys,

It's been a while. Would've been better if I had announced this earlier, but my EXAMS ARE OVER!! And so is my work-through-the-roof-crazy semester. Not much excitement there cause it's been a week of hard play since and euphoria's sort of died down already.

ANYHOO, a couple of really wonderful things happened the past month few weeks that I really need to give thanks to God for. It all started when I was working my butt off taking extra shifts during my final few weeks of uni because I knew I was going to take the longest "break" for exams I have (or anyone else for that matter) ever had.

So that was my way of making up for lost time, 7 weeks of no income =(. Besides that, I felt really bad cause I felt like I was ditching the store even though they needed people the most during the exam period. So I did all I could by taking up more shifts than I ever have since I started to make up for my next 2 months of absence.

This last shift before my break for exams + summer (around that time of every year) is always quite unsettling for me. I love working at McDonalds. But I never know if I'm going to get shifts when I come back after the summer. Just cause I'll be a year older (and getting waaay too expensive).

Things weren't different during my last shift in October this year. What's worse is my peers at work and I feel the same way. So that means we're never sure if we're ever going to work together again when we all come back from overseas which is sad.

So after what I thought would be my last shift of the year, I walked home with one of my colleague and best friends at work, Otto. (Something we and other friends from work always look forward to doing after a long shift). And we had a long talk. Both of us were a few of the oldest crews at Freshwater McDonalds that is still around and part of the "older crew" gang.

And we were basically just expressing our thoughts about being there for almost three years, what it's meant to us and how we felt. And it's been such a great run for both of us, honestly. However, we'd be lying if we said that there weren't certain things that have been bugging us deep, deep down for quite a while.

For me, it was the fact that for some stupid reason, I kinda wanted and was wondering why after SO long, I haven't gotten "Crew Member of the Month" yet. It's such a stupid thing to want but my pants would be on fire if I said I didn't secretly hope to get it one day. Even though I knew that the chances of it were close to none because "my time has passed". Let me explain why.

For the longest time, I have actually come to terms with not receiving or expect this award at all. Totally irrelevant to me, until earlier this year. But as I was talking to my friend, I realised that the fact of the matter is that I did want it.

Only because next year would be my final year of working at McDonalds (before graduating and getting a job as an Engineer) which is extremely bittersweet to me. And it would SUCK if I left after investing so much of my life and heart into the place and not have anything to show for it. I've been there since my second week or arriving in Melbourne and work has been a BIG part of me forming my identity in Melbourne because it was there from the very start.

So earlier this year, I decided that I would "up my game" at work. With a silent and lingering hope that my efforts would one day be recognised even though I highly doubted it. Though some people may see it as just a "part time job", I've been brought up with really strong work ethics and took it seriously IN SPITE of that.

I just see it as another avenue for me to train and display my professionalism at work. And it did not matter if it was at McDonalds or a big Engineering firm. So that involved never being a single minute late for work and doing anything and everything fast and clean so I finish at the time I'm supposed to.

So in my first year, I actually only worked a maximum of one night a week, doing the back close. And I really didn't like it. The amount of work I had to get done for the pay I was getting was ridiculous. That's why for a WHOLE year, I have NEVER said Yes to a phone call from work asking if I could come in (even though they really needed people). Never.

But in my second year, things started to turn around. I was starting to get good and have fun at what I do. Plus, the increase in pay was an incentive too. On top of that, I started getting rostered to do work at the front (with WAAAAAY less work) mid last year and have barely gotten back shifts anymore. Even if I did, I really didn't mind cause sometimes I really did miss making burgers at the back compared to dealing with customers at the front.

So, yeah. Actually started to really enjoy working. Instead of dreading each week, I seriously looked forward to it. And have almost jumped at every chance I get to work when I get an unexpected phone call to see if I could come in. In fact, my walk or journey to work is always filled with so much glee and excitement. Love it. That's why I started working twice a week instead of once.

Then in my third year (this year), pay got increased even more which was good because I was paying for a LOT of things out of my own pocket. And I'm very very glad that I did not have to turn to my parents for money (except for my international school fees understandably) for the past two years. They have sacrificed too much, I can't ask for more. In fact, I believe I am old enough to actually start giving back instead of taking.

Thus, increased my shift to about 2 - 3 times a week. Which was HUGE (but all the while enjoying every minute of it) because of the fact that I just stepped up as President at EWB and uni work load was off the charts. But still managed, thanks to the support from my good circle of friends.

Up until the final few weeks of uni (which was also the PEAK of my uni assignments), I was also taking 4 - 5 shifts a week. A HUGE change from when I first started out with my mentality towards my one dreaded shift per week. But everything worked out in the end, I had fun so no regrets at all =).

So besides the fact that I really wanted to save more money, the reason I was working more was because I wanted to (as I said earlier), to show my managers at work that I was a good employee by working hard and balancing fun with them and my colleagues at the same time =)

However, it's sad to say that the selection of "Crew Member of the Month" ever since I started has always been somwhat biased. They had their reasons because they wanted to award more high school students with this to get them happy, excited and appreciated to get them to stay because a LOT of them have been quitting which made it hard and the store needed to give people some incentives.

Which is fine. I get it. It's good to let them know that they're doing well too. Not to say that each person who gets it didn't work well. They did. But if they were in the same plane field in terms of performance as other "older crews" like me. They are more likely to get it. Just to get them to stay. And also because the "older crews" like me are most likely to have gotten it when they started out anyway. Which I did not. I was terrible in my first year.

This is why it's especially important to prioritise this award to the "newer crews". Because everyone (including myself) knows that working there is really tough at first. So if you've done a good job at the start, you really deserved this award. Which I did not. I was slow and unhappy in my first year of work. And this "grace period" was over just as I started to pick up my slack and enjoyed work in my second year =(

Another thing is that the past few years, we've had quite a high turnover of Store Managers too. Which is the "Head" of the entire store, above all the other managers. This person was mainly responsible for picking who gets this. And to my luck, store managers rarely do closing shifts (which is almost all I get) because they manage all operations in the store during most parts of the day.

Which is "great". Working hard but the person I'm trying to impress not there to see it. There goes my chances. However, there WAS a last resort but I'd rather be caught dead than to be doing it myself. And that is to "suck up" to the store managers. Something that I've seen a lot of my friends at work doing to get ahead.

They do this through a lot of ways like asking managers to go out partying with them, or cooking noodles (instead of working) for them during shifts. All of which just to become "buddy buddy" with the managers. Gosh.

That's fine, people do things a certain way. Not to say I don't get along well with my managers, I do. But not with such motive but as genuinely dear friends. Sickens me to be honest. I will stick to my principle of doing good hard work. Hasn't served me well in the past, but I still choose to stick to it. If I leave McDonalds one day without getting a recognition, I'd be happy to still have my integrity at the very least.

Things started to take a turn when a few months ago, a new Store Manager got transferred to our store. She's so different. Strict to the core, almost never smiles to anyone (except customers). What I sort of fear but extremely respected about her. She does things to PERFECTION, which makes me want to do the same and improve so much more.

But yeah, she can be really really scary if you rub her the wrong way by doing something that you shouldn't be doing at work. And I feel SO sorry for my friends who have had to face the full force of her WRATH as a consequence of their actions.

Up till today, I'm just thankful (which is truly by the grace of God) that I'm actually one of the very few employees at work that she would smile and talk nicely to at work. And I also really really appreciate the positive feedbacks accompanied with the smile that I've gotten (which is quite rare from her) cause I think she saw that I really tried.

The thing is, I know I've gotten praises and am in her good books. Other managers whom I've worked with always know that when they have me in their shift, I will give my 100% and am someone they can always count on too. Also when I had one shift at Crown one night, the Store Manager there was really happy with my performance that she tried to persuade me several times to transfer there.

And the ONLY reason I am confident enough to accept or retell these praises is because ever since I tried to improve how I work last year, I know exactly what is required and how far I've come to know what makes a good crew member. Ask me this two years ago when I first started, and I would agree that I'm the last person who deserves it. But a lot has changed. A LOT.

HOWEVER, all these "verbal accomplishments" did not change anything cause of the fact that I'm no longer new and am not willing to compromise my values to get what I want. All of this still really bugged me cause each month I still see the awards going to the "new kids" or people who I know for a FACT that are not as good as me at work. Simply because they either get rostered with the right managers more often or kiss their ass. So frustrating to continue to go unrecognised.

It came to a point that after weeks of prayer but this unsettlement in my heart, God spoke to me one night. I believe He was challenging me to have the courage to SPEAK UP to my Manager. This really freaked me out. I believe God has always made me to be a more confrontational person. But not in this way. This is waaaaay too awkward, embarrassing and shameful of a topic to bring up.

But God really challenged me. Besides that, my siblings and I have always been brought up with the saying, "If you want get something done, don't sit back and do it yourself!". It's always, "Get up! Make a phone call. Send that email. Follow up. Get it done and done well."

These saying has always been the driving factor for the 3 of us to be extremely capable, responsible and independent individuals. No mucking around and immaturity when it comes to getting things done. These words also shaped so much of my character today professionally and have gone a LONG way for me in terms of work and running EWB at Melb Uni. That's why out of every one I know, my Mum is the MOST capable person I have ever met and I cannot tell you how much I respect her professionally.

So following my mother's advice from young, I mustered the courage and was prepared (albeit still crazy nervous) to speak to my Store Manager the next time I worked with her. Not to express exasperation and ask her to look at me or "how come I haven't gotten Crew Member of the Month yet and all these other guys have?". Nonononononono...

I wanted to make my intentions crystal clear. If I did talk to her, I genuinely wanted to ask her if she could give me feedback on my performance and if there were any areas that I could improve on. Cause if she told me, I wanted to let her know that I wanted to dedicate the next few months to do everything I can to improve as much as possible. Fair, right?

So I said my goodbye to my dear friend that night with all these convictions and clarity to dare to speak up. If I even do get a chance, that is. Until one day about a month after I've stopped work. I got a text from this very friend again. Congratulating me for getting "Crew Member of the Month".

OMGGGGGG. I was in shock. I seriously didn't believe it. All the odds were stacked up against me before but after all that prayer, could it be true? Really? I didn't actually have to ask my Store Manager about this? OMGGGGGG that's the biggest relief I've had in a long long while. Seriously. That's one less awkward conversation for me to have =D

I was still in disbelief so that night, I rushed as soon as I could to the store to see if it were true. And in fact, it was. Oh my gosh. I immediately felt the downpour of God's grace upon my life right there and then next to the wash up room of Freshwater McDonalds lol. What's even better is that another friend (whom I think is EVERY BIT deserving) just got awarded Crew Member of the QUARTER for the first time too!

YIPPEEEEEEE...!!! Apparently hard work DOES still pay off in this world, and so unexpectedly!! I was so ecstatic for him and myself =)

To conclude, God's grace was shown in the form of this Store Manager. One that actually works enough during closing shifts lol. Though a lot of people did not warmly welcome her because for the first time they actually needed to go by the books, she was there to help us improve. And God's blessings come in disguises or ways we would never expect.

And this whole thing was such a long journey of faith. And the lesson that I hope to continue to be reminded of is that Perseverence does Pay Off. And you don't have to compromise ANYTHING even if things get tough and you don't believe in yourself or the situation anymore. Have faith.

A very dear lesson was learned after two long years of steadfastness. And I'm overjoyed. Cause this just gave me more motivation to keep doing what I'm doing when I start working again next week.

And that even if I do leave this place which has played such a big part of my life one day, I have something to show and be proud of. That's all I could ever ask for. And I hope to bring with me all these morals and values that I've learned into the next phase of my career in the future.

God is Good. All the time. Know it, even if you don't believe it, son.

Much Love,

Winston.

=) =) =)

Because I can't go on FB to create a photo album

2010-10-20T01:48:00.014+11:00

Some cherished and memorable piks taken from the birthdays of some people that I really care about the past month... Really blessed to be able to celebrate such a joyous occasion with each of them... I love birthdays. Looking at these piks just puts a big fat smile on my face =]

As per title above, I'm uploading piks here because I'm still fasting from FB for 40 days and have got 24 days to go... Plus, it's so much easier for me to present a snapshot here on this blog than to create an entire album on FB... So, enjoy!

(i) Brian's 21st

Celebrated by having a formal dinner party at Suzanne's place

A small intimate event for Brian's big day

Very fitting for a good ol' chap like Brian

Dear, dear friend of mine...

The McD's catch up gang that started in Sydney lulz

Bros for life, man... Bros. For. Life.

Neh. The one that ask me do Baptism with him at Easter Camp that one lah. GOOD MOVE =)

Si Huaaaaaaaaa....... Someone that I have always enjoyed talking to har har...... =)

(ii) Sammy's 21st

Started off with dinner at City Grill Room before heading to The Apartment for some boogie-woogie

Hullo hullo... I love hearing Sue attempt a Malaysian accent, damn funny wan haha...

The birthday girl (or actually, princess) with Grace and Ian =)

Nick read menu so damn UNCLE!!! BUAHAHHAHAHAHA... Love this shot so much lololol...

Gal pals Sam and Lyds... =)

Me with the Birthday girl... Glad you enjoyed yourself that night! (Btw, Ian damn happy lah at the back hahaha...)

Me with my very good friend and mentor, Josh... (First picture with my Si Fu! =D)

Sam (with tiara, ring and ribbon) and Ann (the hardcore dancer in heels lulz)

Su Family Picture

*sneaks up from behind* Ahem ahem... SURPRISEEE...

NO WAY!! WAIT, WHUT?!?! ;p ;p ;p

All the people that came together for the special lady on her special day =)

Me with the Tai Go of the Su Family, Zakky!

Our little Chai gang at the end of a really fun night... =)

(iii) Jade's 20th and Ken's 21st

BBQ at City Point before hanging out (for hours lol) back at my place

Was SUCH a hilarious night omg... So many ROFLMAO moments that night that we still laugh about today haha... Crazy

Jeff's specially requested cake by me hehehehe... Awesome group shot with our (steadily growing) Eng Gang! Was joined by Terry and Luan... Can't wait to go nuts with this bunch again after exams

Another group picture now with Daddeh... Just a few days before he left =( Glad me Dad enjoyed himself too lol!

"Happy Birthday to you..."

The birthday boy and girl with Jeff's Mango Fresh Cream Cake (extra light and fluffy lol!!)

An "educational" time for us ahem lol... Inside joke but you'll get it only if you do Eng haha...

So, exam's just around the corner and I've still got 5 assignments to kill before I start studying... Just need to gear up for this final leg of the race! Can't wait to let loose and GO NUTS after exams wooooo... A much needed rest at the end of a hectic semester is in order...

Hope everyone's prepping hard for the finals! ALL THE BEST, EVERY ONE!!!

Much Love,

Winston =)

Points of Clarity

2010-09-23T00:06:00.010+10:00

Hi one, hi all...

It's been a while, hasn't it? Just been so flipping busy with uni and EWB the past few weeks that today's the first time I sort of got to take a breather in a long, long time. During this time, you can say that I've spent a lot of time "soul searching" and have definitely hit a few points of clarity.

First is my whole mindset and perception towards "Vacation Work". Almost every one who's spoken to me the past few months have probably heard me bring up the topic of me applying for a summer internship in Australia at one point or another. And to certain people, probably 1,000 times.

This whole process of sending out applications started all the way from May. And honestly, you have no idea how much unrest, stress and anxiety I've been facing for the past 4 months just cause I really want or "need" to get Vac Work. It's only recently when I felt like this whole "Vac Work" issue has consumed SO much of me that I'm forced to really rethink why I even want this in the first place. Or perhaps... If it really is right for me at all?

I mean come to think of it, no one put this pressure or expectation on me to gain work experience at all. Not my parents, nor my university, which is extremely fortunate for me. It's all because I wanted to use this extra curricular experience to "get ahead" of all my peers cause I was afraid that the competition when I graduate would be much tougher than it is now. This is especially true for a course like Engineering.

So, makes sense to want to try. It's good way for me to build myself up and also to enter the industry early anyway. But let me tell you, what started out with good sense and intention, slowly turned into something very different over time. There was a major shift from "hoping that I get a job" to "I seriously MUST get a job otherwise I'm gonna feel like such a failure and it's going to be almost impossible for me to get one next year, since most grads job require PR status but not Vac Work. Then... DIE"

What I seriously hate about this whole mentality is that it's made me SO desperate, and narrow minded that if I don't take this linear path to enter the industry, all hope is lost. None of which makes ANY sense to my Faith or God.

How can I consider myself a failure if God says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in HIS image. How can I think that my life can only go in one direction, when we know that God works in the most mysterious and unexpected of ways? How can I try and plan my life path with my limited knowledge when we have a God steering every part of our life in a good direction with His INFINITE wisdom?

Basically, who am I to try and be in control when all my plans will just SHATTER within a second if it's not in line with God's. I see it now. I need to release myself of this now. I mean, I'm not saying career ambitions is a bad thing at all, no. In fact, I sincerely do hope that all my friends do get Vac Work and that every one works hard to be successful in their career.

HOWEVER, if you let any ambition, whether you think it's good or selfish, start to eat so much of you that it causes you to idolise and change the things you think you value and are important, THAT'S when the problem starts to happen. And you better think if you're really making the right decision at all. And I don't even know if this is what God has planned for me, or if it's just me trying REALLY hard to force my way into the industry.

It was also through certain conversations I've had with some awesome people the past few weeks that I felt God had shed some of His light on this entire situation. First was when B and C reminded me that when something really is of God, it will surely grant you peace. Peace in a way like no other, before and after you've made a decision to follow through. And the only reason you feel that way cause if it really is God's intentions, you'll know it deep down and it just feels right.

So yeah. Peace of mind about this whole thing is something that I didn't have from the start. But fear and doubt? Plenty. And I kinda reckon that even if I DO get Vac Work, the anxiety wouldn't just rest there and continue on till God knows when. It will just keep escalating endlessly from when I first start and till I finish the whole program, or even after just cause of the current mindset I'm in. That's why, I need to SHIFT back my focus, before I get into anything at all.

Next conversation that really struck me about this was when I caught up with J, my mentor. Basically, how he got to a point in his career where he can say out of faith that "this is where God has led me to be" from such a humble beginning in Malaysia really baffles me. All I can say is, him to finally get here happened in the most unexpected of ways.

And what really lingered with me from that night was when he said that, "As much as you're praying for the right doors to open, you also need to pray for the right doors to close." Boy oh boy did that really strike me hard in the head or what. I mean, if I do get Vac Work, fine. But even if I don't, I can confidently say now that I will be letting out a long sigh of relief.

I mean, maybe there's a reason why even though I've tried so damn hard to get what I want but it hasn't been granted by God. And that's cause maybe, just simply, it wasn't meant to be. I strongly believe that if that really does happen, it'll be God's way of shutting one small door in my life. And I choose to believe with full conviction that where God will lead me will definitely be SO much better than what I'd imagine in the first place. What a reassuring thought.

Basically after these two significant conversations, I've finally been able to release all my anxieties and fears of this whole situation to God. So for the first time in the past 4 months, I've finally been able to obtain true peace with this ENTIRE situation. What a freaking incredible feeling.

NOW, I can't tell you how excited I am about what's in store for this year and next. There's just so much more room for things to naturally take its course when you stop trying to FORCEFULLY plan every area of your life. And what I've taken from this whole situation that I'm still going to give it my best in every career decision that I make. But I also need to relax and accept that some things are beyond my control. But whether I see it then or not, our Father DOES have a plan for me. And I look forward to the day that it is MY turn to confidently say, "This is where I know my God has led me to be."

So, yeah. I'm so thankful for these wonderful people in my life cause without them, I would still be living with a huge burden in my heart. But now, I am set free. Praise the Lord.

Also, another thing that I wanna quickly mention is that on Friday the 25th September, my whole community and I will be entering the 40 Days of Fasting and Prayer. This year, I will be fasting from three things: TV series, Facebook and Instant Noodles.

Last time I fasted (which was two years ago), I was really intentional about what I would be fasting FROM. But this year, I have been spending a LOT of time to think exactly what I will be fasting FOR. First, would be for my friend Jonathan's healing. And anyone who's really prayed for healing from sickness and death that it is NOT easy.

It's been such a cycle for me from having Faith to Doubt to Faith again when contemplating this prayer, for fear of what it may do to my Faith or my friend's when Healing doesn't actually come at the end of the 40 Days. Cause let me tell you, this is honestly a BIG thing to pray for. Cause there is NO technology around the world today that is able to help him. If Healing were to happen, it definitely would have to be by God's divine Miracles.

But then I spoke to my friend, A, about this the other night, expressing my concern of what the outcome may be of my prayer after the 40 days. And she basically just replied, "why do you need to limit yourself to the 40 days anyway?"

At that point, I was just fully thrown back by this simple yet powerful statement. She's absolutely right. Why must I only have faith for this during this 40 days? Why can't I continue to carry on the same Faith even AFTER, no matter what happens. So. Damn. True. Talking to her definitely encourage me to go into this 40 Day fast with more Faith than I did and to believe that Healing WILL come to my friend, in one way or another, eventually.

Fantastic. And the other thing I wanna pray for is this issue that I've been struggling with for over a year now. A lot of it has been about me looking back and being stuck in the past. I don't like change. I tend to always try and make situations back to the way they were, or find something to hold on to in the present that reminds me of the past.

And it's gone on for too long. So throughout these 40 Days, I will continue to pray about this specific issue. And at the end of it, I believe God will help me to FINALLY look forward and be filled with Hope for a better and different future in this area of my life. I believe it.

As you can see, the past week has just been filled with so much clarity that would never have been possible if it weren't for the wonderful people in my life. I'm glad that through it all, I am able to draw closer to God again. And I sincerely do hope that my friends and I will be transformed from this 40 Days and Prayer. Looking forward to doing this together with all the fantastic people at Life* Expedition.

Hope you're all growing strong in Faith!

Much Love,

Winston.

______________________________

Pictures from the past month:-

(i) 40 Hour Famine

Reached the end of our 40 hrs without eyesight (for Z and I), hearing (for Juls)

JUST as we are about to have our eyesight and hearing restored. One last pik for remembrance!

SENSES RESTORED!!! =DDD

A picture with our beloved friend, Jon. He has no idea, but he's left such an impact in our lives and was the reason we came together for the 40 Hr Famine. Thanks for all of you who supported/sponsored us!

(ii) Of good times over food

Break from studying over yummy assorted Malay kuihs... I love having multicultural friends

Celebrating Melissa's 22nd over Jap BBQ =)

Dinner with KK/TTSS gang with a very special guest visiting us all the way from NZ!

So thankful for friends from KK that after so many years, we can still hang out together after so many years, in a place like Melbourne. Conversations that made it feel as if it were taken place at our fav coffee shop in KK 5 yrs ago... Good times

(iii) Of unforgettable times with dear friends

Wow, can't even remember the last time we did this but got together with two of my brothers over dinner... Celebrating Chris's birthday...

LOVE THIS PHOTO OF THE THREE OF US!! Hilarious times lololol...

Awesome buds...

Been through so much with these guys... Love em both to death

A night that we will NEVER forget. SO much happened that night and I'm glad we can walk away from it holding a little piece of memory of what was said and prayed for. What a breakthrough!

(iv) Of cherished time with the family

First family meal with Dad who flew in from Malaysia, and Sis from Adelaide. SO HAPPYYY =)))

After a long day of shopping at Chaddy, went to our favourite Curry Fish Head place at Carnegie... Family with my sister's two best friends!

Next few weeks are gonna be super FULL ON till exams... Hope you're all resting well during this break and prepping hard for the end of sem! Peace!!

SOAP (Philippians 2)

2010-09-12T14:09:00.004+10:00

Wasn't in Church today so I thought I'd spend some time alone at Home reading the bible instead. According to my notebook, the last time I did a SOAP was 5 months ago. Please note that I'm not trying to write a good essay, but share exactly what was in my heart as it is, sans the fancy language or vocabulary.

Scripture, S:

1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus;

14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out the word of life.

Observation, O:

The word "same" or "like-minded" has been repeated several times in this passage. Being at a crossroad of my life where personal career ambition is growing really strongly each day, I feel like I need to be very careful at the same time before I take this next step.

Verses 2 & 5 makes it very clear that if I do proclaim to have and want to continue to experience the love of Christ, the answer is very simple, and that is to have the same LOVE, SPIRIT and PURPOSE as He does. The question is, "do I really?"

It's been a while since I felt convicted and clear about the things that I do. Maybe this is a time for me to come back to that point.

Verses 15 - 16 talks about complaining and arguing. Which is exactly what I have been doing the past two weeks. Since when did I ever let the pressure of work get to me in this way? What a perfect and direct choice of words from the Bible.

I am amazed by how Paul says that the only way you can SHINE in the universe, is if you live out the word of Life*.

Application, A:

Work is work. It can be as dead, or alive as you allow it to be. Right now, the huge thought and desire for myself to enter the workforce has been the main cause of my anxiety and stress the past few months. And ironically enough, I myself am the victim of my own selfish ambitions.

I guess that's why I haven't had much peace on Vacation Work at all. I know that deep down I wasn't doing it out of a faithful heart, but still wanted it really badly for myself anyway. And I thank God for this unsettling feeling in me because it's so clear now that the only way I will find true peace amidst all of this, is if I align myself with the Spirit and the Word once again.

Praise the Lord, because I'm starting to feel joy inside me once again at the thought of this. I'm so thankful to God for being the Author of Grace. In other words, allowing us to hit the "reset" button in our lives if we need to.

This time, I want to allow the Spirit to be in control and build me up once again that when the time comes, my God will be delighted at the fact that there will be one more person entering the system, that is not willing to submit to its lifeless ways, but to our Creator's alone.

Prayer, P:

"Lord, You of all people know how personal this choice is for me. But Lord, I thank You for showing me once again the path You would like me to follow. So, Lord, may You continue to help me grow as a person and in Spirit to become all the You have created me to be. I Love You, Lord, and I want to adore You in every area of my life. Amen."

Thank God It's Friday

2010-08-28T22:13:00.010+10:00

Hullo evelibuddy,

Man I'm knackered as. Spent a good whole day (from 11am - 5pm) helping my spiritual sensei, Josh move house and boy was it fun or whut. Mainly cause got to spend the day with Josh, Phil, Wenn and even Sam (who joined later on). Those guys are hilarious and it's so rare I get to hang out with them this long but so fun.

Only downside: feeling a bit under the weather since yesterday. This sore throat has gotten worse when I woke up. Serves me right for eating lunch till 5pm, dinner at 7pm, and also all night long of snacking while studying with the Eng Gang. Seriously, fish crackers, potato chips, mini oreos, leftover McDonalds (from work the night before), curly fries and cake. It was hilarious. Good times.

Oh and have I mentioned? I'm doing this 40 Hour Famine for the first time this year. The reason behind me doing this is a bit personal to me. And if you would like to sponsor my cause as I go without eyesight, i.e. no specs and contacts for 40 hrs, (only one more sleep to go!), you can do so here: http://40hf.com/winceeee =)

And what the BEST thing about this 40 Hour Famine is that I thought I was going to do it alone during that time. But after talking to two friends, they too decided to join in and do it with me. WEEE! Feels SO different and much better when you're doing something like this with friends, seriously. And it's amazing how supportive and encouraging we've been to one another since the VERY start. Can't wait to "break fast" and with these guys and have our senses restored ;D

So Friday was seriously awesome man. Despite having 8 assignments to do, we were still enjoying ourselves as if it was the holidays. Went shopping at Roger David (30% off one day only!) with some of the Eng Boys in the morning before class. When we realised we were late cause class had started and we were still in the city, we still went for Maccas Run anyway cause we were too hungry! What rebels haha. But all good.

Then after class, finally met up with two of my really good buds. Was a very planned and anticipated "date" with these friends. This meeting goes back to last semester when I had an awesome catch up session with Juls during the last day of the semester. Then out of nowhere, Si Hua walked past Spicy Fish (the restaurant we were eating at) and decided to join us and boy oh boy was it a great start of something new. So unplanned and non-coincidental, but it completely changed our friendships (and lives) with one another forever. AMAZING!

So the three of us sat there for a really long time. Talking about anything and everything, and literally pouring our lives out to one another. Ever since then, we really formed a close bond with one another. So, meeting them at the same restaurant, same time of day, same day of week, for the same length of time was amazingggg... 3 hour lunch that went by so quickly... So many inside jokes, and these guys will forever be known as my "Spicy Fish Gang"! Can't wait to go on another one of our famous Friday Lunches again hehe... =)

And after that, our Eng Gang met up for another study group session at my place (cause of all the stupid assignments)... What was amazing about that night is that surprising enough, we did finish what we set out to do that night (despite ending close to 2am) and also had so much awesome (junk) food in between.

But besides that, what made it an immensely memorable and HILARIOUS night was when we started playing around with this birthday cake that we bought. No, it wasn't anyone's birthday. But we just wanted cake. That's it. And cause we all wanted to feel special, we really went all out party mode and gave every one a chance to "celebrate" their birthday.

And let me tell you... LOTS happened during those time that I shan't share here... But one thing is for sure, STUFF happened during that time that literally left us in stitches. Man, who knew studying could be so fun?! Especially on a Friday night!

Life is awesome and so rich cause of the people in your life. And these crazy people make me feel like I've won the lottery every day. Love my friends and family to bits! Right, nuff talking and I'll leave you with photos of happy moments from the day =]

______________________________

First pik with my awesome Spicy Fish Gang!

Good times not to be forgotten. Much love!

Right after they decided they wanted to do the 40 Hour Famine too! Me & Si Hua, no eyesight. Juls, no hearing!

A cake we bought just cause we wanted cake. Decorated it ourselves with the candles and 21st key. Why not, right? You can make it your birthday if you want it to be your birthday. Heck, I can make it my birthday every week if I want to! ;p

Happy Birthday to me!

Shin the birthday boy grew too tall over the past year

Jeff happy to celebrate his "21st"

Sally looks like a GHOST on the big day lah!

What an EPIC way to end such a great day. One of the best days I've had in a long time, from beginning till end. Feeling so blessed. Thanking God for ALL the Relationships in my life, and I hope you are too!

Anyway, hope you're all doing well especially in this busy time of the semester.

Peace out,

Winston! (with a shoutout to the best dumpling buddies ever!)

Things I want to remember

2010-08-23T00:00:00.022+10:00

It's late, weekend is over and not sure when I'll be able to spare a few hours to blog properly again. Few really memorable happened the past few weeks that I really want to pen down so I can look back on one day.

Sucks that I can only skim through the surface but I'll try. First time I don't have as much time as I'd ideally like to have for blogging about significant events in my life, despite how busy I am. This is a bad sign... Might need to rethink and determine if this blog needs to head in a new direction in terms of style of posts and the way I gather my thoughts...

Anyway, every single one of the following has changed me in one way or another.

(i) One of my closest friend in Melbourne, Calvin, left for the US on exchange.

Now, both of my really good amigos are in the States for another semester. Melb feels kinda strange now in some sense cause the 3 of us did everything together, started our life in uni and Melbourne pretty much on the same plane at ground zero together 2 yrs ago. Oh, how things have changed. Am so happy for them nonetheless cause I know it's a dream come true!

(ii) Zakky's Bachelor Party, aka "Bucks"

What an eventful day. So many fond memories and many, MANY great laughs. Started off with Go-Kart in the arvo, before moving on to dinner and the "informal stuff". Too much happened during that night that we will keep to ourselves. What a friggin' great time with ALL the guys. Bottomline: 'What happens at the bucks, STAYS at the bucks."

(iii) Fasting with my Eng friends

One of our really good friends from our Eng gang was fasting the entire month for Ramadan. She asked (and partly dared) us on several occasions if we would do it with her for just ONE day. Didn't really see the rationality of it as first, but later on we realised how much it would mean to her.

On the day of fasting, we were SO surprised at how many of us actually took it seriously and did it for her. Seriously, the instance when we found out that 4 of us had gotten up before sunrise to eat our breakfast to be prepared to go without food or water for the whole day, was GOLDEN.

It was ironic how we felt SO good, throughout the whole day despite being tired and in pain. Maybe it was cause all of us felt the same hunger but knew that we were all in it together... Till the end (of the day). And boy oh boy, did breaking fast together at 5:45pm feel amazing or what. Another milestone for the Eng Gang. Also, was great cause we got to chill and talk for such a long time after our dinner together. Feel like all of us can always talk about anything, whenever, wherever. Sign of true friendships.

(iv) Highschool Outreach Presentation for EWB

This night was especially meaningful to me. Was kind of hesitant at first because uni workload was piling and didn't want to speak in public. However, it was a great reminder that it's not about me, but the promise I made to myself when I first started this Presidency, i.e. to always try and be there for my members whenever, wherever they needed me.

It moved me in so many ways and I feel like I've grown a lot from it. Was asked to give a presentation/speech on "How Engineering can better the world around us". Was also kinda surprised it was held at a cathedral. Only to realise it made so much sense later on.

Because I didn't want to bombard people with facts and statistics to PROVE how good Engineering is, I decided to talk about why I am passionate about Engineering and how I got to where I am instead. Cause let me tell you, I didn't walk into uni on my First Day in my First Year feeling this way. Something happened along the way, and it was EWB that helped me find myself. Really touched by the comments I received from few of the audience and speakers afterwards, completely unexpected but am immensely honoured and grateful that they appreciated my story.

Was also on the panel with a fellow RMIT Civil Engineering undergrad student named Julia, as well as two retired Mechanical Engineers, one of which was the former director of Holden. What a privilege. Julia and I, shared about how strongly we believed that Engineering could leave a huge impact on the world in the next few decades, just as it has in the past several. The other two expressed their reason for being more realistic about change. They too shared the same fire back in the day, only to have it slightly die down after facing the challenges in real life.

The whole night got each of us really thinking. Just like most things in life, for us it was to hold the tension between Idealism vs Realism. Them, knowing that it was because of this "naivety" or "daringness to dream" that brought Engineering forward and changed the way we lived today. And what blew my mind away was that these two Engineers, were sharing openly about the experience and struggles they faced as CHRISTIANS in the System. Basically, me in 30 yrs time. I never imagined that I would hear something so deep and personal to my own spiritual walk at an EWB event.

(v) EWB Trivia Night

Always felt like at EWB Melb Uni, especially at our weekly meetings, that I knew every individual pretty well but no one knew anyone else. I was cool with everyone that walked through the door, but I don't think that every one got a chance to build better friendships amongst themselves.

That's why it was really important for me to organise a table for Melb Uni when I heard the Victorian (Professional) Chapter was organising a fundraising Trivia Night. It was fantastic cause I got to bring and introduce my new members to an EWB function and basically just had a fun night out of it. Was also thrilled when I sent out the invite, that a fellow EWB member organised 3 tables amongst themselves. 4 in total for Melb Uni - WOOT!!

(vi) Wedding of Isaac and Winnie Su

MAN. What a memorable wedding it was. It's always great when you're not just "attending" a wedding, but really celebrating the Wedding day of two people that you truly cared about. I was so proud, happy and excited for them. Really happy that God brought them both together cause I have been SO inspired by their relationship.

I'll be honest, this wedding reminded me a lot like my brother's in January. It was so personal, intimate and full of character that reflects the happy couple. Just as any good wedding should be. It's all in the details. Got to spend and ENTIRE day in celebration, of which Dancing was included (so fun! hahaha). And as embarrassing as it is to admit, there were numerous occasions during the wedding that I REALLY struggled to hold back my tears.

So that's basically the summary of the memorable events that happened to me in the past two weeks. It's awesome, I'm smiling the whole time as I write this post, in reminiscence of the wonderful things that God has done. Next up, would be the EWB Energy Efficiency and Sustainability Seminar that we've been working TIRELESSLY for the past few months to put together, to happen this Wednesday. Exciting.

No matter how many times I do this, I still get nervous about speaking in public but our God is faithful, and He ALWAYS comes through. Not sure what's gonna happen when I give the opening note, but I have complete trust in the Lord. I'm sure that He will continue to deliver all for the purpose of His glory just as He has in the past, and continues to in the future.

Hope you're all well wherever you are and let us give thanks to our Father for the great works of His hands in our lives. Not for us, but for His Kingdom. So let it be.

Much Love,

Winston.

New Jedi Master

2010-08-04T02:17:00.009+10:00

Hey all...

How are we doing this mighty fiiiine Winter evening? Can I just say, that I've really had the best couple of weeks since break ended and uni started. So much has happened within those 2 weeks and life continues to be so FULL for me in Melbourne.

Tackled tough challenges with EWB, deep and meaningful conversations with friends, cherished memories with new ones and got to catch up with awesome mates who were away all Winter. I guess the highlight for me was definitely the past weekend. Celebrated birthdays of two really good friends of mine (SHOUTOUT TO SPICY FISH GANG!!), and witnessed four really moving and powerful baptisms on Sunday. So inspired by their testimony and journey. What an unforgettable weekend, indeed.

So I've spoken to some people about this thing that's been on my mind for a while now, and that's the possibility of having a new mentor. What is a mentor, if you ask me? First of all, a mentor is someone that I see has gone a few steps ahead in their spiritual life. But I definitely do NOT expect this mentor to be someone who is perfect and have it all figured out. In fact, the reason why I have so much respect for a mentor is how he deals with situations IN SPITE of all his flaws. Cause that's the real deal.

More than that, the reason why this person is my mentor today, is because I personally believe in His spiritual walk too. I believe that this is someone who has come a long way and God has moved mountains for in the past, and will continue to do so in his life to inspire and pave the way for people like me, today.

So a couple of months ago, it hit me really hard for the first time that I'm not a kid anymore. First Year was when I really got to know Christ for the first time in my Life. Baptism was definitely the saving Grace that completely turned my life around. Often, I wonder what my life might have been had I not taken that Leap of Faith during that fateful Easter Camp in 2008.

After that, I was so fascinated by this new Life of Faith that I spent so much time trying to learn and discover as much as I could about this "God" that I've heard people praise all my life but never experienced for myself. Back then, we were so much "greener" or younger and everyone would refer to my friend and I as the "Baptism Boys", or the new kids in town.

In my Second Year, I really struggled with finding purpose and being able to live out my faith in the world which I lived in. This bothered me very much because things were still tough even after I spent a whole year earlier trying to lay the right foundations and core beliefs for my faith. To make matters worse, the more I "tried" to step out, the more shy I was about who I am and what I believed in, for fear of feeling rejection from my peers. This led to a serious identity crisis cause I was not able to be true to who I am.

What I later realised was that God is a Faithful God. He has a plan for everyone, and He had one for me from the very start. 2009 was the year I discovered EWB. One of the best thing that ever happened to me cause through my involvement with EWB, God showed me a Purpose in what I was studying and CHALLENGED me to step out of my Asian comfort zone as someone who is NO LONGER ashamed to RE-present Him to those around me. Yeah, BIG year. That's why, Purpose, Stepping out and Identity is definitely something I can identify with.

And now that I'm in Third Year, I can certainly say that I've grown a lot since I first started out, but still have a lot more to learn. What's obviously different this year is that I'm no longer considered the "fresh blood" or one of the "newbies" in community. In fact, I feel really encouraged because now I have "younger guys" who often come up to me for advice about anything or just trust me enough to open up to me about things that they are going through.

Oh how the tables have turned. And as much as I enjoy giving and giving, I know that down the line, this is gonna run me dry if I keep doing this without being filled at the same time. That's when the thought of Mentoring first came to mind.

Besides that, I feel that I am at a very defining stage of my life right now. I say this because it recently occurred to me that I will be graduating next year (which is very soon!) and actually ENTERING the workplace shortly after. No more uni, but getting a REAL job in my field for possibly the next 30 yrs of my life. Too soon, so young! Time is moving so quickly and I'm completely unprepared and anxious about working "within the system".

That being said, I have reached a crossroad in my life (and degree) where it is time for me to make some very important and careful career choices. Where I choose to work this Summer is significant as it will most probably be the firm that I continue to work for as soon as I graduate, so I need to be careful about what I want.

Besides that, WHY I choose to find a Vacation Work (or Summer Internship) and become an Engineer is really important right now because it shapes my identity and defines who I will become as soon as I enter the workplace. At this moment, I'm really praying for clarity and direction for my future. Would appreciate it too if you could keep me in prayer during this uncertain phase.

THAT'S the reason why I felt more compelled and open to the idea of having a mentor. To help me grow not just spiritually, but personally by sharing some insights of what his personal experiences were like. In the past, I'm so happy to say that I have had a lot of friends (or peers) with me on this journey. But what I never had, was some kind of seniority in my Spiritual life. More like an elder brother/younger brother relationship with someone that I can trust. Which I think is vital right now that I'm at this stage of my life.

Initially, I procrastinated this idea for a very long time because I had a few main concerns about having a mentor. Firstly, I didn't know if I had the time to cultivate and maintain such a relationship with anyone throughout semester. Seemed like so much work. I know that once uni starts, things are gonna get insanely busy again and I might fail as a mentee because I wasn't sure what kind of "time commitment" it required.

Besides that, I didn't even know how to approach anyone to begin with. It seemed like I would be asking for a HUGE favour (which might end up being a burden) and it was only me who was getting a lot out of it. Afterwards, I decided to talk about all these doubts with someone who's had some great experiences with having a mentoring relationship from community. And it was GOOD.

It was really helpful cause it cleared up so much uncertainties that I had earlier and at the end of it, this person encouraged me to go for it. So I did. And TA-DAAAAAAA. After a roller coaster ride to FINALLY get here, I am so proud to say that I finally do have a mentor, and he is none other than, the one and only, Joshua Tan!

After having our first "session" yesterday, I feel really refreshed for beginning this new chapter of my Spiritual Life. Two and a half hours of talking about anything and everything, just to get to know each other was amazing. What really drew my attention towards him at the start was the fact that this was someone who is working in the MIDST of the system, day to day, and actually LOVIN' IT. WOW. This really astonished and inspired me.

Besides that, this guy has also got it going for him in the "Love Department" if you know what I mean. Maybe he can help me out in that area too (*ahem ahem*!) cause I'm sad to say that that department for me is "temporarily closed" and "under renovation" lol. And I really like how like most mentoring relationships, they are unlikely pairs. Like, it isn't usually with someone older that is obvious to you because that person is someone you know relatively well to begin with.

Anyway I know that this post is WAYYYY too long already and I really should have kept it shorter. But knowing me, I can't. All I wanna say is that I'm really excited about what's to come from this, especially cause I've never gotten into anything like this before. Hopefully that through this, we both can eventually grow in our own ways and learn more about God and what it means to lead an indestructible life.

All Glory be to God. So let it be.

With Love,

Winston =)

Relationships... My true story

2010-07-19T22:13:00.045+10:00

Today, I am reminded of why I've really started blogging. It's cause I find life is so much more fulfilling and rich when it's shared. It's by opening up ourselves to one another that we learn to love and accept one another the way Jesus has done so for us. Even if it means exposing a dark secret or a raw wound.

But more than anything, I'm doing this for myself. I want to document all the times in my life, where God has worked wonders or moved mountains in my life, and in those around me. For that, I give Him all the Glory. I really do hope that the Internet doesn't go extinct one day and I'll lose everything forever. Cause every single word that I write here, is from the heart.

And I never told anyone this before, but the truth is, I'm also doing this for my kids. I want them to read back at these letters to know that their Dad faced the same struggles with Faith, Identity, Friendships, and so on as they did when he was their age. Hopefully with that, they know that they can trust and talk to me about anything, and I will still love them no matter what.

So anyway, as honest as I try to be, there's just one topic that never, EVER comes up on this blog, and that's Relationships. Gahhh... This is something that I don't want to talk about here at all! But lately I've been feeling a big this tug inside to... Gahhh!!! Once again, I need to kindly ask for your forgiveness and that you try not to judge me for what I'm about to say.

So one thing is for sure, 2009 has taught me more about Relationships than any other years of my life. I've seen so much that has happened in my life as well as MANY of my friends around me, especially those my age. We all taught we knew it all at our age, only to see each of us slowly crash and burn, one by one. Sucks, but that's what we've been through.

I think that at this point in my life, I've never been more clear about where I'm at and what I want. And honestly, it took me a long time to finally get to where I'm at today. So here's my story. Many of my friends don't know this (even the closer ones), but I've been in 3 relationships (twice with the same girl) in the past and they've all ended pretty.... Bad.

I don't know what to say. Except that I've made a lot of stupid decisions in the past. And each time, I keep telling myself, "I know what I'm getting myself into, I know exactly what's going on. But I don't care. Whatever, let me make my own mistakes and I'll just clean up my own mess afterwards."

GAWD. I really want to kick myself in the nuts right now for how inconsiderate, immature and insensitive I was about this whole thing in the past. Cause as it turns out, things aren't as simple as I'd imagined in real life. The worst part of it all, is that people get hurt. Like, really hurt. And it's not just these poor girls, but their friends and family too. People that have trusted and welcomed me into their lives.

All this time, I had no idea AT ALL that if anything happened, other people would get affected too. Even the girls. How selfish. And utterly stupid. Truth be told, I was just like any other teenage boy, who just wanted to "see what it's like to be in a relationship" or was tired of being single... Again. It's worse when you see so many of your friends around you getting into relationships themselves, leaving you all alone.

These two reasons alone could not be any worse of a reason for me to get myself into anything. And I also know that even if I were given the best advice by people who knew better (which I was), nothing would've changed my mind about anything. My mind was set and I was stubborn. And it's just a kick in the guts for me to see my friends who are making the very same mistakes as I did.

Sigh, but then again, if no one could talk any sense to me then, how else am I supposed to do the same for others? What else can I do but to just be ever ready to pick up the broken pieces of my friends, just as they did for me many times in the past.

Sometimes, we can't protect people from everything and one of the hardest things we can ever do for the ones we love, is just so let them fall. And be ready to catch them when they do. Cause as it turns out, I've been doing this quite a bit lately. Most of us are going through some sort of "Love Drama" in one sense or another.

But in all true honesty, getting OTHER people hurt just cause of your ignorance towards these advice and wanting to make your own mistakes is so NOT worth it. Still, I feel so helpless when I see friends these days walking down the exact same mindless path as me! God, help us all.

Cause let me tell you one thing, I know EXACTLY what it's like and how things go, even as "faithful" or "Christian" as you think you are. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy. BAM! Boy and girl get together.

And normally you meet someone after a few months (or yrs) of singlehood. Then, things get exciting. The faster things go, the more spontaneous and "romantic" it seems. How nice. This what I call, the premature stage of the relationship. Trust me, it's exciting.

For guys, there's usually more little voices that are loudly telling them why they SHOULD go for it. And for girls, why they SHOULDN'T. The hard part for guys at this point is to listen to that soft whisper of doubt (or truth) before they start turning on their charms to slowly try and convince the girls to think that they should.

Then you start making all these promises to one another. Any promises about where you're both at and what you both believe for the future. Unknowingly at the time, but all so just to give you the outcome that both people want to have. Basically, little things that both people tell themselves just to give them a "good reason" to get together. Wrong, WRONG move. Sigh.

And the most fundamental mistake that any of us make, is during that premature stage of the relationship. It's the most important time to make a well and informed decision, but the hardest. There's just too much unnecessary fluff floating around that it's no wonder it's almost impossible for anyone to see what's real amidst all the bullshit. Really. Any advice that anyone gives you you think it's not the same cause what you have is "different" and "real". Right.

Believe me when I say that when it comes to all the "romantic" things a guy has done for a girl when he claims it's out of "faith" for the relationship, it's NOT real! And let's just face it, it's just hormones. Two single people just wanting to get together. I say this with full conviction because of WHEN this "well and informed" decision was made.

FIRST month of getting to know each other and you wanna commit the REST of your life together? You've GOT to be kidding me. Seriously. I've been there, done that, okay? Sorry to break it to ya, but are you sure it's not the fluff and hormones talking? How many happily married couples actually gave themselves to one another like that FIRST month of knowing each other? NONE! It takes TIME and PATIENCE for people to cultivate that relationship before finally coming to a decision like that.

Again, you'll just end up hurting people. After my LONG and winding road of making countless decisions that were monumentally BAD, and even winning the "BIGGEST ASS IN HISTORY" Award, I've finally emerged with a completely different set of views on Girls, Relationships, Marriage, Faith, and everything else than I did when I started 4 years ago.

And after ALL that I've been through, this is what I've learned. So guys, LISTEN UP. And if you're a Christian boy, this is even more for you.

(i) Boys, treat all girls with RESPECT. Don't just see and treat them as your "girlfriends", but LOVE them as Daughters of God. Respect.

(ii) Don't make ANY decisions about who you will end up with during the premature stage of the relationship. It's good to hope for marriage, but don't EXPECT to whom. Just not at this stage. You don't know what you want yet and may it be who God wants, not you.

(iii) Guys, take ownership of the Relationship. You should be the one who's steering the wheel and responsible for what's best for the BOTH of you. Think carefully, especially during the early stages and EVEN IF the girls says yes. Don't be charming for what you want.

(iv) Don't use faith to tell you the things you both want to hear, please. This is the most COMMON and BIGGEST mistake made by most Christian guys, including myself. Find what's REAL.

(v) Don't rush. The most important thing to learn in these situations, is to refrain. Get to know her as friends, without all the unnecessary thoughts floating around like, "Oh this could be it/Maybe this could go somewhere". Just stop it, it's not real. You won't get to know her for who she really is if you keep doing this.

(vi) Always have friends that keep you in check, and not just tell you to "go for it". Listen to what they have to say, and think about it. As much as you don't want to hear it, don't quickly dismiss it and say that it's not for you. THINK of the possibility of Truth in there. Please, guys.

Well, I guess these are the main lessons that I've had to learn, the hard way. At this point, I know that I've still got a LOT to learn and grow in maturity before I'm able to come to a well and informed decision about anything.

Besides that, I'm only 20. And I'm in no hurry AT ALL to meet someone. There's a chance it could be today, or tomorrow. I don't care. The point is that I'm really, really NOT looking cause if anything were to happen to me, it'll happen in God's timing. And I want to be the best person I can be for that person, this time around.

And it's no coincidence that most of my friends and I are still young and single. In fact, I think that it's a blessing in disguise and I hope that everyone will find themselves through this time and let the Spirit be the guide of our destiny. I believe that God is holding each of our lives closely in His hands and has GREAT plans for us in the Future. For now, let's just be patient.

Finally, I also really hope that people who read this, can understand what it took me to get here. But more importantly, where my heart is at and why I want the best for every one. We're friends and I deeply care. So I hope that you guys know that you can always come to me for anything at all, aight?

MUCH Love,

Winston.

PERTH

2010-07-09T00:13:00.028+10:00

So anyway, some of you may know that I went on a trip to Perth for a week and just got back. And I can't believe it went by so quickly. Honestly, I think out of all the trips I've been to (and they've all been really great btw), this may possibly be the best one so far!

Everything was great, from the first day to the last, morning till night. Everything. Got to do all the outdoor activities that I set out to do (sans cliff jumping after further thought), ate all the really good food and visited all the sites that Perth was famous for.

It was a very fulfilling and eventful trip (as all of my trips tend to be due to my "kiasu-ness" to want to experience EVERYTHING wherever I visit). And to top it off, the weather was AMAZING. Bright and sunny every day, nice and chilly every night. Perfect.

But what made it truly amazing were the PEOPLE that I was fortunate to spend time with the past 7 days. And I know that I'm really corny and cheesy cause I always say that it's the PEOPLE that make it amazing, but it really is true. Especially in this trip.

Perth has always been on my list of places to visit after Sydney, New Zealand, Brisbane and Gold Coast. Just cause that's where a lot of my really good friends from high school are studying and I thought it'd be really cool to visit them there. So about a year ago, I briefly mentioned this to my friend, Julian, and turns out that he too, was thinking of flying to Perth for a visit, since he did his high school there.

And so a few months ago, the plan was set. After rallying two of my really good friends who were interested in coming as well, the four of us finally booked our ticket to Perth (which were DAMN expensive, argh!). Initially, the plan was to fly together, before we'd go separate ways once we touched down to meet our own friends.

Later on, it turned out that we both didn't actually have as many friends in Perth as we thought, hahaha. Oh well. I was still really excited though cause I knew at least two of my really good friends, Ka Man and Melissa (from the LIKAS GANG!) would be there. After that we sort of decided to "combine" trips, my friends and his friends would might as well just hang out the whole week together, since there weren't so many of us to begin with. Cool.

But to be honest, I was a bit worried cause I've always been hesitant about mixing friends from different circles together, cause I ALWAYS end up being the middle guy and don't know how to tell you how much I HATE being in that position. At the time, I had just signed up for a trip with two of my childhood friends of 15 yrs, a church friend, going to visit two close friends (who don't hang out as much even though they know each other) and my friend's two friends.

And no one knew anyone before the trip. Argh. So many different groups, I thought. Naturally, I felt a little anxious cause I feel like I work REALLY hard and have stretched myself throughout semester, so the last thing I wanted was to be put in an awkward social situation on my HOLIDAY. That's why I do take whatever free time I have to relax and rest rather seriously. Give me a break, this is supposed to be a holiday, I thought.

For that reason, I have been prepping (pestering, to be exact) my separate friends up for weeks prior to the trip to remind them to be friendly or whatever, so hopefully no one feels uncomfortable with anyone. Please.........

And let me tell you right now how WRONG I was about everything! I don't know how or why it didn't happen this time, but every one got along really well with EVERY ONE from the very start of our trip! WAO-WEE! And not only that, we all had such a BLAST every day with one another. It was so fun to be able to see my old friends as well as getting to know new ones during this trip.

Personally, it was a great privilege to be able to know a bit more of my good friend's roots and where he came from by getting the chance to know his best friends from his childhood. It was also special too cause it's the first time I got to show others a glimpse of what made me the way I am today, through the close friendships I have with these people from my childhood and high school years. Basically, every one bonded and CLICKED with every one, I was really happy all week.

I know I said this already, but I really did have a GREAT time. I am no adrenaline junkie at all. But I have ALWAYS pushed myself to overcome new challenges, despite being scared as HELL. And I'll only do it once. THAT'S IT. No more. I hate the pain and fear, but I love emerging from it. Whether it'd be roller coasters, bungy jumping, climbing Mt Kinabalu, running 50km - I'M IN. Just don't ask me to do it again.

And this time around, it was skydiving and rock climbing. Rock climbing was MUCH harder than it is indoors!! The rock is smooth and barely had any grip so it was physically hard to progress upwards. The longer we were stuck resting or trying to figure out where to go next, the more energy it took to stay in that position and less there was to keep going on. So many times I wanted to give up cause it was so painful and tiring, but made it somehow.

As for skydiving, my heart kept beating faster as the plane kept ascending to 12,000 ft. Up until the instructor had pushed us till the edge of the door with my feet dangling out of the plane, I really couldn't take it. Before I knew it, he had pushed us both out of the plane. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...........................

Let me just say, it was really... SOMETHING... What an experience. Better than me telling you, you can watch every detail of it in the video I uploaded here. Seriously, I've never seen anyone look so ugly in a skydiving video. But boy oh boy did we have the BIGGEST laugh watching it later that night or what hahaha...

Honestly, the times we were together doing these awesome activities, sharing extraordinary meals, the car rides, night hang out/board games sessions, they all are so precious to me. I can't tell you how many times we were all laughing in STITCHES (at one time I even fell off the chair and hit the ground) besides having deep personal conversations with the people on this trip. By the end of the week, we all left with so many hysterical inside jokes from the trip.

And what made this Perth trip more memorable and different from the rest was on our last night, we all had a very special "sharing session" together. Every one was just seated in a big circle in the living room late at night (after we had come back from supper and played a wicked game of Pictionary) and went around sharing what our favourite part of the past week was. After that, we took turns to share who or what we were thankful for about the trip.

Hearing these two stories from each individual was remarkable. You could tell that God's presence was really amongst us individually, as well as altogether the whole time, from the different things that were shared that night. I say this cause each story was a breakthrough and miracle in one way or another. And something so good and unforeseen by man could only be from God.

So before I end this post, I would just like to acknowledge the people that made this trip an unforgettable one for me:

Ka Man - THANK YOU for sacrificing so much of your time, effort and sleep to be such a gracious host. I know it mustn't have been easy planning for and accommodating 4 other people in your house but appreciate you for not kicking us out. Really glad that I could visit you in Perth. Was REALLY awesome to see you, talk to and laugh with you just like old times, bro.

Julian - You are one heck of a friend, if I haven't told you this before. So unique in so many ways and also one of the most caring and selfless person I know. Thanks for being exactly who you are and letting us experience that! Your life story is amazing and thank you for sharing it with us. This trip wouldn't have turned out the way it did if it weren't for you.

Melissa (WKY) - One of the most fun person to be around with and I like how you know exactly who you are. Thanks for the many, MANY great laughs and look forward to travelling and doing MORE crazy stuff with you in the future!

Kar Gee - Even though we've been friends for so many years, but I'm very fortunate to be able to really get to know you as a friend and a brother since the start of the year, especially through this trip. Talking to you is like an unopened treasure chest, there's SO much more inside than there is on the outside and you continue to inspire me.

Aron - THANKS so much for being so kind to spend all that time with us even though your parents are in town for a visit. And you are such a generous host and great person to talk to. Was indeed a pleasure to get to know you and hope to see you again! Oh, and you smile a lot too which is cool.

Jon - Whenever someone needed help, you were so kind to offer yourself without a single thought throughout the whole week. This is indeed a great quality and I believe God will use this for GREAT things in your life in the future.

Laura - Honestly, you are such a fun person to have around, and I'm glad you could join us on the days you weren't working. Even though it's only the second time I met you, but it feels like we've known each other for years. That's how good a friend you are.

Melissa (WSM) - My fellow member of the Likas Gang!! (which has now opened a new branch in Kuching lol) Man oh man I'm so happy we got to hang out like we did the past week, it was amazing. And catching up with you at Little Creatures was definitely one of the highlights of my trip. Really appreciate our friendship after all these years and don't forget to update me ah!!! Keeping you and Jo in prayers =]

Also, I want to thank my parents for always being ever so supportive and always encouraging me to make the most out of my time in university by traveling as much as I can. My folks have always told me that this is the best time to travel, while we're young and have the time before we start work so we should experience as much as possible. Not all parents are like you, Mummy and Daddy, and I am SO blessed to be your son. Love you guys so much.

Last but not least, I wanna thank GOD for all His provisions and interventions throughout the trip. So many things didn't turn out the way we expected at first and without Him, NONE of this would have been possible. Really enjoyed the times we could stop to bow our heads and give thanks to you together before each of our meals. Am so thankful till this day that you have called me back into your arms and completely changed my life two years ago.

Sorry that this post turned out MUCH longer than expected. Had to get it out of my system. Means a lot if you kept reading anyway and congrats for making it to the end of the page =]

Much Love,

Winston.

___________________________________

Snapshots from the trip:

Skydiving

Sandboarding

Rock Climbing

Perth at night - stunning

First day of trip

Day two: Wine, Cheese, Nougat, Chocolate, Honey and Beer tasting at Swan Valley

Catching up for dinner with some high school friends

Awesome dinner at Ciao Italia after waiting for 2 hrs - worth the wait!

The tourists at Mills Pt

Supper at Conca's - Chilli Mussels yum!!

Dinner at Little Caesar's - fantastic pizza!

Tourists at Boat House (face is part of an inside joke lol)

Cheers at Little Creatures on the last night!

Pictionary/Charades on last night

Sharing session on last night

Awesome Vietnamese Lunch before heading to airport

Farewell gift cause we used up ALL their toilet rolls on the last day lol

Saying our goodbyes =(

Trip back home - Nissin Cup Noodles FTW!

Hope you're all enjoying your time wherever you are. Peace!